I Google MySelf

Nachdem ich Gestern für Carsten den Artikel „Imagine you want to have sex now…“ übersetzt hatte, habe ich ein bisschen sein Blog durchstöbert und bin dabei auf den Beitrag über das Video von Erik Weiner gestossen.

Erik rappt in dem Video über seine Versuche via Internet ein Mädchen „kennenzulernen“. Alles natürlich in sehr ironischer Art und Weise aber trotzdem nicht ganz Realitätsfremd. Vielleicht ist es dem ein oder anderen auch schon so ergangen…

Die Lyrics:

in this lonely world, love is hard to find
i need a lonely girl, so i went online
on facebook, this girl brooke said she’s an ace cook
woulda putta in my datebook but couldn’t tell how her face looked
on myspace, i put up a picture of my face
girl in white lace offered me a massage at a thai place
on friendster, tried to befriend a playmate named kendra
she said depends, sir, you drive a benz, no i drive a sentra
on eharmony, met barbara lee, a catholic girl from Carnegie
she wanted prince charming, see, not a jew like me from Jar-many
so i went on j-date, met a jew named kate from A. State
when i told her my pay rate she said hey wait and canceled our play date
on youtube, i watched this cute girl suze who had huge boobs
i used lube until i noticed she was a huge dude
couldn’t find a girl to bone and these sites were no help
so i sit at alone at home and i google myself

you know it’s true i’m not ashamed to say
but i google myself like everyday
i don’t need anybody else
when i think about me i google myself

on match, there was whole batch, of undiscovered snatch
only catch was some had a moustache and one had an eye-patch
on yahoo, met a girl named apu who worked at wamu
wanted me to take it up the wazoo, with a strap-on, i said nah boo
on craigslist, said this dude needs a chick to get in bed with
then i met this out of her head bitch who had dreads that smelled like dead fish
on adultfriendfinder, met a girl named Dinah from china
she was wearing so much make-up she had eyelina on her vagina
on e-bay, sold the rights to give me a b.j. in three days
a d.j. named c.j. bought it, and, oh yeah, he’s gay
put myself on wikipedia but my ex, this chick, amelia
changed it to say my dick was teeny and i was sick with hemophilia
i was pretty irked, felt like a self-pitied jerk and shitty flirt
looked for a strip club on citysearch and typed in titty church
didn’t work, why can’t i find no one else
so i used my right hand and i google’d myself

you know it’s true i’m not ashamed to say
but i google myself like everyday
i don’t need anybody else
when i think about me i google myself

yo, i’m not done yet wait
you can still help me get a date
throw this up on funny or die
help this dunny score pie
throw this up on metacafe

yo, i’m not done yet, wait
you can still help me get a date
throw this up on funnyordie, help this dunny score pie
throw this up on metacafe so i can get the mad play
put it up on break dot com so i can date hot moms
if you’re a girl with big tits, then please digg this
ass i need to get it, so spread it on reddit
help me get the bitches, man, put it on delicious
what the hell, put it up on aol
maybe i can score a lez if you put me on perez
put it on your profile, maybe a girl will go wild
famouslastnerds.com mothafucka

written by Erik Weiner and Jordan Allen Dutton
music by Mark Weiner (aka Yung Mars)
©2008 Rickmill Productions